The baby boomers, the largest generation in American history, are now almost all in the last third of their lives (if average life expectancy is 78). They have spent the previous, early and middle thirds of their lives transforming cultural ideas, expectations and practices (ex with the civil rights movement, environmental movement and women’s movement, etc).
The question now is, “Will the baby boomers also transform our cultural ideas, expectations, and practices regarding the end-of-life?”
I say yes! Here are my predictions and recommendations for this generation of “revolutionaries”:
1. Baby boomers expect to live longer and will seek out technologies to do so. We continue to see life expectancies extended (although the obesity problem may soon change that) and the boomers will focus on ways to further extend their years on the planet. I strongly recommend however that they seek technologies that will extend quality life rather than quantity alone. For example, but do not choose medical interventions that will prolong your days if those days are going to consist of lying in a bed, unable to poop or pee without assistance. Choose technology that creates quality alone, quality plus quantity, but never quantity only, at the expense of suffering.
2. Baby boomers will author and create the “natural death” movement. The natural birth movement was predominately a product of the baby boomer consciousness. Taking root in the 1960s, a movement occurred to “de-medicalize childbirth” with varying degrees of penetration into general culture. The outcomes ranged from the growth of midwives and the home birth movement, to changes in the architecture of labor and delivery rooms — to make the birthing experience more intimate and family centered, as it had been for all of human history before modern medicine.
Similarly, I expect this boomer idea to cross-fertilize end-of-life movements:
- Death will become “de-medicalized” and will again be viewed as a natural event that can be managed in natural settings such as the home. The hospice industry will see phenomenal growth to accommodate this shift in desiring to manage dying at home. (90 percent of Americans already say they want to die at home but nearly 80 percent of us presently die in medical institutions.)
- For those who must experience dying in medical institutions, more efforts will be made to humanize the experience and to make it more intimate. Dedicated hospice units and rooms will be built with a design emphasis on comfortable, home-like surroundings encouraging family gathering and final intimacies.
3. Boomers like to be in charge and will seek more control over the dying process. One present expression of this is the right to die movement. While I am opposed to physician assisted suicide and euthanasia, I understand and support the impulse to gain control over the dying process and to minimize suffering. I personally feel that this can be accomplished without choosing to ingest a life-ending substance, however. At the right time (for you), choosing comfort-focused medicine over cure-focused medicine will allow you to gain control over the dying process: physical suffering can be controlled with appropriate medications, allowing time for quality emotional, social and spiritual closure and reconciliation to be obtained between you and others.
Additionally, choosing comfort-focused care more often enables you to die, expectantly, where you desire to be the most (usually at home).
Thus, I expect boomers to gradually increase the dialogue about assisted suicide and other novel pathways for obtaining control over the dying process.
4. Expect more non-traditional, cost-conscious funeral preparations. A great example of this is my husband, Kris, who is one of the trailing baby boomers, born in ’61. He wrote a great treatise on this topic entitled, “Final Resting Places and Dealing With the Funeral Industry Monopoly” (Chapter 22 of It’s OK to Die). In this chapter he argues compellingly that the funeral industry hangs us out to dry if we haven’t made plans in advance. We don’t “shop around” in the midst of our grief and just pay for whatever is easiest (but not most economical), while wiping our tears.
Kris gives unusual tips for saving thousands of dollars on funeral costs and tells a story about how we drove his deceased father, in a full–sized casket, across multiple states in an SUV to save on flight costs for the casket and the whole family. It was a very “thinking out of the box” experience (slight pun intended), which turned into a trip that gave final closure to the whole family, saved thousands of dollars, and felt like an adventure. Sounds like something every baby boomer should look into.
Monica Williams-Murphy is an emergency physician and author of It’s OK to Die.
It will be interesting to see if the Baby Boomers will be hanger on’ers or more accepting to let go. In my experience they fight to the very end and are not used to “losing.” Thanks for including this artice and I look forward to more in the future as a new subscriber.
I do believe that the baby boomers are going to help change the end of life scenario. They are used to technology, are willing to be their own advocates, do their own research and stand up for their rights. It is time that costly funerals are not the center of what the end of life memorial should be.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
The home funeral movement is a part of this revolution – families and faith communities are learning to care for their dead at home, with or without a funeral director. See http://www.thresholdcarecircle.org
Its already happening. Time to get on board and give the people what they want.
Beautiful website. Thanks for sharing.
We specialise in contemporary funerals in the UK (average age of death just 64 for our funerals) and we already see huge changes in the way babyboomers want their funerals to be – one third choosing natural burial, less formality including hearses, biodegradable coffins, ceremonies that are unaffiliated from religion, more family and friend participation, choices of words and music etc. This is a building wave and the funeral sector really needs to adapt in order to meet the new expectations and needs. We run courses in Modern Funeral Directing and for ideas you can check out our website http://www.greenfuse.co.uk.
Great website. Thanks for sharing and contributing.
Interesting. I certainly hope you are right about them wanting less technology. We are not seeing great acceptance of death at the moment. Our length of stay keeps going down!
In our experience as a small funeral firm we see cost concious families. The bigger concern is that many don’t want to deal with loss. In many cases the consumer wants to forgo the healing benefit of ceremony thinking that if they avoid a memorial or funeral they will avoid the pain of grief. That is the alarming trend. Yes, some of it is cost driven, however it appears that is more a function of the ego centric baby boomer attitude of “It’s my way and don’t tell me any different”. We have developed a number of waya to assist families with very creative and healing funerals and memorials to help them through the loss. Those that take advantage of the meaningful ceremony we provide comment they were pleasantly surprised and very pleased.
Interesting perspective. The ritual of a memorial or ceremony helps shape and give context to the deep loss that we feel. Thank you for playing your role.
Regarding Ceremony -The desired ceremony one writes down beforehand is not for ourselves but a gift we give those who will
miss us who love us. One of the amazing things i’ve witnessed at green
burial ceremonies is the covering of the grave by the family. Sometimes
people have not spoken in years are all of a sudden working together often with their children, to bury a beloved or in some cases even a difficult family figure -a Father , a Granny
or a Mother a sister or a brother, all together crying and digging,
healing entire families in one simple act with this physical act of closure. This type of miracle does not
happen when a person gets whisked off from the hospital for cremation
and picked up in a plastic box.
Well said….
I am currently writing in this area of taking charge of the BBs finale… They will certainly want it different to the previous generation. Totally agree with these sentiments in this blog. Massive changes coming… Faster than we may think!